Ouch my knee, bjj

Right now I my knee and going between the ice tub and the hot tub. I’m coming to the realization that a lot of people are very strong in this sport due to supplements, and if I’m going to be at that same tear or level,… I guess that means I also need to find out more my last few sparring sessions. I remember feeling my partner’s muscles, which sounds a little weird, but you have to understand these people are absolutely dominating me and I’m very interested. This is definitely the scariest injury I’ve ever had in my lifetime and I’m very fortunate that I’m able right now to walk on my knee and not in the hospital. What’s funny is you would think that something like this would make me not want to do Brazilian jujutsu but all I’m thinking about is how I can find one of the best people in the world to train with because I want to learn and I wanna keep going and I don’t mind the injuries as much as I thought I would. End of the day I’m hurting myself. My ego and my pride are still dying.